I have never been afraid of death, but that dying stuff is another story. One night in the wee hours, I got to contemplating my actual death.  One of the wonderful CNAs was in my room checking my vitals and I asked her to be straight with me about dying and what actually happens for women with cancer. She very kindly sat with me for over an hour while we talked turkey.  I am not at death’s door – not even at death’s driveway, but I have never before even been on the same block, and  have I questions. I am not afraid of the answers.