because I DO NOT WANT to keep the doctor away!  My doctor (BL) is so insightful, on so many levels. Tuesday I had my first follow-up appointment with him following my cancer surgery. Two close friends (DR and JN who also are both healthcare power of attorney) came along.  JN was blown away by him, by his insight and the breadth of his approach. DR is a friend of his and was the person who sent me his way to begin with.

BL talked about my body undergoing so many changes at the moment (surgery and major weight loss) and my body parts having to reposition themselves vis a vis other body parts – a perfect metaphor for my whole life now. Everything in my life is changing and I am crying out for what DR calls my ‘Sacred Next’.   BL has my number, and he is nudging me forward (along with DR and JN) to my Sacred Next.  (Not the Big Sacred Next, because that is still years off we are envisioning.)

[For those of you who do not know me or have not seen me recently, know that I  have been using a walker for the last year or so – a balance issue caused by my brain bleeding. A bit of knowledge you need for this next paragraph.]

Anyway, when I got home on Tuesday and got out of the car to open the gate, I stepped forward where I could no longer hold onto the car but not near enough to the gate to grab it.  I just stood and teetered there for maybe five minutes – afraid to go forward and afraid to walk backwards. Metaphor galore.  (I  finally got the nerve to walk forward, teetering and crouching, but I reached the gate, and opened it.)  And something about the four of us in that room – each I think with a Key to my new life.   But I am still nearer the car than the gate.